Hooking Up in College: What Does It All Mean?

Reading Bogle’s article made me mad.  I hate how guys make it seem as if it is natural for them to just go out and sleep with anything that walks.   And they make it sound like girls cannot do the same thing.  However, if guys are going out and hooking up, there has to be a girl who is doing the same thing.  You cannot “hook up” without another person.  It works both ways and often times I think people forget that.

I also do not believe that men are not looking for relationships. If men really like sex so much, wouldn’t they want to be getting it constantly?  Being in a relationship leads to more constant sex than cruising for chicks at the bar.  You could leave the bar without a girl but you cannot leave the bar without your girlfriend.

The ambiguity of the phrase “hooking up” also makes me upset.  It is literally an umbrella term for every type of physical intimacy known to man!  A guy or a girl can tell someone they “hooked up” last night and that person could get the story completely wrong based on what their own personal definition is.  That happened to a good friend of mine.  She told her roommate that she “hooked up” meaning kissing but the roommate told everyone she had sex.  She had a bad reputation within a week!

My last bone of contention falls with the relation of perceptions.  People think, as long as I am better than X what I am doing is okay.  Well say I have an acquaintance X that has sex with 3 different guys each weekend.  If I gauge my own sexual activities as being less than X to be “okay” then I could still be having sex with 2 different guys each weekend.  To me, that is not okay but by definition it is okay.  This idea of relating yourself to others whom you believe to be more “slutty” or “dirty” really is all relative.  Someone may be using you as the determinant when you think that you are doing alright because you are having sex less often than X.

I found this reading to be very eye opening.  I hope our class discussion is just as fruitful.

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